Monday, June 4, 2007

EXHORTATION: THREE ANGELS DANCING ON A NEEDLE

Most of the production in this year's Festival originated in New York City; however, we have one entry that has come to us all the way from that bastion of American pretentiousness, Miami, FL. It is Three Angels Dancing on a Needle, written by Iranian expatriate author Assurbanipal Babilla and directed by the Peter Brook of Dade County, Michael Yawney. On the eve of the company's arrival in New York, it was revealed that they swept the theatre category of the Miami New Times Best Of Miami Awards. The valedictory blurbs are reproduced below. Show these Southerners some Northern hospitality and come out to support their show!

Best Acting Ensemble Three Angels Dancing On a Needle, Square Peg Productions
Assurbinipal Babilla called his play Three Angels Dancing on a Needle, but Merri Jo Pitassi, Odell Rivas, and Miriam Kulick did a lot more than dance on that needle — they got skewered on it. If you were lucky enough to be hanging out in the Deluxe Arts complex this past January, you'd have seen one of the most jaw-dropping displays of dramaturgical virtuosity to hit Florida in ... well, who knowsç Three Angels was a play that brooked no real comparisons. Playing characters of pornographic ugliness, reeking of spiritual decay and utter moral desperation, the three actors urged each other on to operatic heights of shame and degradation before small audiences who, by play's end, didn't know whether to clap, puke, or kill themselves. Maybe Three Angels wasn't the most fun way to spend a Friday night, but these three actors didn't give a shit: They were playing for higher stakes than that. What those stakes might have been, the rest of us are still trying to figure out.

Best Actor Odell Rivas in Three Angels Dancing On a Needle, Square Peg Productions
In Three Angels Rivas's part consisted primarily of a monologue called "God's Greatest Invention," in which his character confessed to being madly in lust — not love, just lust — with a man. The whole performance was one long scream of trembling, jittering need, with lots of big, declamatory statements and huge, sloppy emotions. But out of that tempest came a handful of lines that possessed a weird grace and some kind of defeated composure, summoned from who knows where. One of those lines was this: "You said you don't mind doing it with boys. Well—what in God's name keeps you from doing it with the boy in meç" There are more than six billion people on this earth, and most of them have asked that question in some form: Why not meç When Rivas asked, the bottomless dignity in his face and in his voice told their stories as much as his own. This year no other actor even came close.

Best Actress Miriam Kulick in Three Angels Dancing On a Needle, Square Peg Productions
The third actor to accost the audience in Assurbanipal Babilla's Three Angels Dancing on a Needle, Miriam appeared as the wife of a man who'd killed himself by jumping off a bridge. She hated him a lot, and his death had done little to soften her rage. For an interminable time — truly interminable; she could have held the stage for instants or epochs — she stood there, body and voice trembling, all her communicative faculties short-circuiting at their inability to process the vastness of her anger, tracing the shape of her hatred with horrific blind references to episodes which are never quite illuminated, allowing the audience's imagination to extrapolate at will and guiding that imagination into very weird terrain. Walking fifty-seven blocks to the morgue to identify her husband's remains, she danced all the way — like a whore, she said, just like her husband's mother. When she did the dance onstage, her hips were like war machines, and her face was like nothing you've ever seen before — a writhing tableaux of electric evil so pure that, if you encountered it in life, it would almost certainly be the last thing you ever saw. Even within the relative safety of the theater, audiences felt an actual, physical revulsion. One spectator said, "If she came any closer to my seat, I was going to scream," and that's about right. It's worth mentioning: According to all reports, Miriam Kulick is a very sweet lady when she's not scaring the hell out of you.

Best Theatrical Production Three Angels Dancing On a Needle, directed by Michael Yawney for Square Peg Productions
There was a handful of productions this year that will stick in audience's memories for a long time, but Three Angels is probably the only one that will have those audiences doubting their memories. Scant days after the fact, it already felt like a dream: the kinky Catholic-voodoo-gothic rituals that sandwiched the scenes; the brutal speed of the monologues; the unearthly poetry of the writing; the unholy passion it inspired in the cast; the purely holy passion with which the actors endowed exiled Iranian writer Assurbanipal Babilla's ugliest, most fevered musings not with dignity, but something dirtier and infinitely more pitiable. After the cast received its standing O's, people milled around, wanting to talk about what they'd seen but not sure what to say. Given a dozen or so weeks to think about it, they might have come up with something like this: By showing us three people who've moved beyond desperation into utter, predatory insanity, and by giving their voices a chance to be heard, Square Peg made it apparent that even monsters can be human. The unavoidable subtext was that if monsters are human, the rest of us must be, too.

EXULTATION

The first weekend of the Pretentious Festival has passed with supercilious fanfare, and there is much to share with our slavish admirers.

The Pretentious Opening Cabaret was stunning in its success. I myself hosted, accompanied only by an anthology of 20th-century French poetry and my own enviably plummy baritone. The featured acts (including a surprise appearance by Trav S.D. as Nihils, who I will never forgive for out pretentiousing me in front of everybody) all garnered new legions of followers, and much fermented beverage was imbibed.

The opening readings and performances of The Sophisticates, Dinner at Precisely Eight-Thirteen, This Is the New American Theatre, Between the Legs of God, and Intervew With the Author all played before teeming audiences of fawning minions, all of whom would not surrender their indelible impressions for all the opium in Afghanistan.

Dinner at Precisely Eight-Thirteen is the first show to receive a review from nytheatre.com - read Martin Denton's esteeming appraisal HERE.

Brick-a-Brac played before a sold-out house. Video augmentalist Jonathan Latiano shamed the audience with his opus Un film présomptueux et bon d'art de pensée dehors and its accompanying audience talkback, after which one will never view William Howard Taft or steamed fish the same way again. A late addition to the bill, Nate Lemoine presented Bestward Ho, a riff on a Samuel Beckett story that left the original looking tepid and compromised. Finally, we experience the premiere of Grand Opera at The Brick with Cardium Mechanicum's Mother Is Looking So Well Today, featuring four (professional) musicians, a cast of nearly thirty (!) , and honest-to-god cupcakes that the audience was allowed to eat afterwards. The spectacle bordered on being populist, but was saved at the last moment by the singing of the final lines in German. Nice save, guys.

Finally, late Sunday night brought The Impending Theatrical Blogging Event, which was one of the more metatheatrical events ever processed by the human brain. Bloggers both onsite and off blogged and had their postings and comments projected on a screen and read aloud by the redoubtable Berit Johnson. Part happening, part installation, part probing analysis of a rising theatrical subculture, part intellectual circle-jerk, and part happening, it will be written up in academic journals for years to come. You can read the full transcript (replete with inadvertent time-zone discrepancies, inside buffoonery, and cryptic missives from "THE AUDIENCE") at the official Blogging Event Blog.

Also of note is our inclusion (along with band Animal Collective and "film" Knocked Up) in Friday's edition of New York Magazine's Vulture. Though we find the Indieist's evaluation somewhat glib and hackneyed, we cannot deny its essential truth.

Friday, June 1, 2007

INAUGURATION

And so it begins. Long anticipated, little comprehended, the Pretentious Festival finally opens its doors to the sentient few this evening at 7pm. Gawking rubbernecks, dandified poseurs, and shrill, clingy art-groupies will no doubt be in attendance as well, but they hardly count.

The lineup of the Opening Night Cabaret, as delineated in several e-blasts and back-room cafe confabs features:

Tunnel Vision
The Mercury Menifesto
Commedia dell’Artemisia
Ian W. Hill's Hamlet
Macbeth Without Words
Every Play Ever Written
The Children of Truffaut

There have been so many Exposures that it's been impossible to keep up with all of their bounty, but suffice it to say that today brings us a suspiciously eager write-up in the ostensibly populist New York Post, and Brooklyn Courier-Life Publications (publisher of the weekly 24/7) feature an in-depth interview with the Festival's creators, especially me.

We will be too busy in the trenches of Art to blog as regularly over this, our opening weekend, as we'd like, but we hope to be back on the scene, in spirit at least, with Sunday's upcoming Impending Theatrical Blog Event. Meanwhile, check our schedule, and see some premieres this weekend, would you? You can't be seen, after all, without seeing.

Thursday, May 31, 2007

EXPOSURE (LVI): NYTheatrecast (II)

Apparently the forward-thinking visionaries at Nytheatre.com loved me so much last time that they wanted to hear more about the Pretentious Festival. I was, of course, unavailable for a second round (pretentiousness is three-fourths playing hard to get), so they turned to several of my compatriots instead, to wit: John DeVore (The Sophisticates), Bob Saietta (Yudkowski Returns), Art Wallace (Between the Legs of God) and Eric Bland (The Children of Truffaut). Shockingly, they are nearly as witty, erudite and incisive as myself in terms of delineating pretentiousness as an artistic strategy and validating the working methods of Independent Theatre. Leonard Jacobs (National Theatre Editor of Backstage and, as blogger, participant in Sunday's Impending Theatrical Blogging Event) moderates, and our own Trav S.D. (creator of Nihils) hosts. Listen to Them.

Wednesday, May 30, 2007

INTERROGATION (VIII): ROCKBERRY

Nick Jones is a playwright created by Jollyship the Whizbang, a well-regarded pirate puppet show featuring rock music. He penned Rockberry: The Last One-Man Show (a play), in what is arguably (if you don't count Shakespeare) the only production in The Pretentious Festival to be written by a fictional character. The all-too real Peter J. Cook directs. "Nick" recently answered our questionnaire regarding his show, which opens on Saturday June 9.

What exactly makes your show so damn pretentious anyway?

The difference between my show and the other shows is that where others try, I simply am. Everything that happens is part of an energy that is constantly flowing out of me. The music you hear, the lighting you see, the actors when they speak, and the way they move, this is all part of my dream which I hope to share with you. But it is not a dream in the sense of a fantasy. It is the dream of showing Life as it truly is on stage. Because that's never been done before, and that is why I am very proud of this work. I think it's my second favorite work in my oeuvre.

Name some obscure influences on your work – extra points for unpronounceability.

When I look back at different times in my life, they seem as if lived by different people. These other people are my heroes.

The late Roland Barthes once wrote "For the theatre one needs long arms; it is better to have them too long than too short. An artiste with short arms can never, never make a fine gesture." Explicate.
I suppose because then they couldn't tap the ash off their cigarette into the ashtray on the coffeetable while still leaning back supinely in the armchair with a bored expression while giving up their time for interviews to buffoons.

In what ways do you plan on alienating your audience? Cite an intentionally opaque or confusing moment within your production.
I will cite my favorite moment which we have cut from the production. A video camera feeding live to the giant projection screen pans slowly across the audience, then hones in on the fattest person in the room. We zoom in tight, then leave the camera on him while we start roasting weenies on stage. The show becomes entirely about food. We do not mention the audience member, nor acknowledge him, but leave his giant fat face on the screen for the remainder of the show. If he tries to change seats, there is a camera person to follow him. If he leaves the theater, we follow him out. The show is not about him, and it is not for him. It is about Questioning.

Which other Pretentious Festival show will you declare as your sworn ideological enemy, and why?
I am sure to detest much at this festival. I have caught a distinct whiff of middlebrow from nearly every participant. And I should add: if you are spending your time reading this blog I truly pity you.

Please give us the gist of the acceptance speech you would use were you to win one of our Pretentious Awards.
I would keep it simple. I would just read a list of everyone who has ever doubted me, or looked like they were doubting me, and then burn the list, hold the trophy in the air, and laugh. And then spit on the ground, maybe. I think the strongest statements are the simplest.

Tuesday, May 29, 2007

EXPOSURE (XXXII): The New York Times (II)

The Old Gray Lady Who Sits Behind Her Curtains and Clucks Ruefully at Her Inferior Neighbors As They Walk By on the Filthy Street Below has once again chosen to expel some ink in the direction of The Pretentious Festival, this time under the auspices of Charles "Generally Off-Broadway But Flexible" Isherwood. Link is HERE; the full text, with usual addenda, to follow:
  • And the most endearingly named theater smorgasbord of all [just try to keep this phrase out of our promotional materials] starts this week too. THE PRETENTIOUS FESTIVAL: THE MOST IMPORTANT THEATER FESTIVAL ON EARTH begins Friday at the Brick Theater in Williamsburg, Brooklyn. It kicks off with a free evening, a cabaret preview of coming attractions [there is very little to mock or riff on in this accurately informative sentence]. Outraged at being called "egalitarian and unpretentious" by The Village Voice last year, the company's co-artistic director Michael Gardner has thrown down a gauntlet [literally; I was there], saying in a press release, "The Brick is as self-indulgent and impenetrable as the most oblique and experimental performance organizations in the city." Anyone want to demur? [A slightly better phrase would have been "Anyone care to demur?" Still and all, it's interesting that the Times has assumed that we take a pugnacious attitude towards defending our project, whereas most people who would choose to pick a fight with us about these matters will merely be silently scorned and largely ignored. Perhaps Mr. Isherwood stands to learn a thing or two about withering contempt. We offer lessons, and at very reasonable rates.]

ERRATA

The patriotic weekend left us too aloof to return to our keyboards and pen pretentious missives; as such, with the Festival opening a mere three days hence (!), we will work overtime to burn you out with extensive postings, the likes of which you have never seen before. We begin with a page of errata. All of the f0llowing is reflected at the Pretentious Festival’s home page, which is and will remain the most up-to-date authority on any and all matters pertaining to the Pretentious Festival. Check regularly, if only because it’s THE place to see and be seen…
  • It is with regrets that we announce the withdrawal of Project 365 from the Pretentious Festival roster, for personal reasons. We wish Miriam Daly all the best, and look forward to hosting her at The Brick at some point in the near future.
  • Simultaneous Reciprocal has changed its Brick presence from two performances mid-Festival to a one-time-only slot at Brick-a-Brac on Sun 6/3 at 7pm, so change your calendars accordingly.
  • The Sophisticates has downgraded its status from a full production to two exquisitely staged readings during its original two performance slots. More information to follow.